I am tangled inside out. not by love, not by parents, but it is my feelings. Who are those who actually treat me well? Who are those that can sense how I feel? Who are those that are really willing to stretch their hand right down and put me up from this deep hole that I have fell in? Why is it always those that I do not value as much? Why?
I used to think that derrick, joan, donavan, sheena, kenneth, rauldah, adam, gary, stuart, sofia,cassandra, natalie, dabby, cheryl, felicia and many more from akltg... I never thought how much they actually mean to me.
During the graduation ceremony, it was donavan who showed from afar, how much he appreciated what I said.

Back in school it can be sensed that a paper so thin, has been put through to test our relationship. It is only now I know how it feels to be looked down upon. In the past it was always me teasing others, and even if I am being teased, it would not mean much harm or hurt. Am I just seeing a mirror of my past doings? My time of enjoyment is over. Until the exams are over, I would not have the chance nor energy to build it up again. Today it is Yunian who passed me the questions. It was rachel who help me photocopy the worksheet. It was Ranie who let me go to her house to revise just because I did not want to face the others in the school library. It was me who wanted to be with them, and it was also me who felt ever so thrown away into the great ocean. When I saw Yihui and WeiMann today, I did not want to look directly into their eyes. Why? I really do not know. It was as if it was a mirror and I do not dare to face it. Dare not face myself. I have not opened my mirror to look at my eyes today. I know they tell a thousand feeling and secrets.Yups. Even friends who I deemed to be the nicest, they don't even realise the change in me today. Just like how surprised derrick felt when I sensed the disappointment in Donavan's eyes.Supposingly it should be the coaches who sensed it, but why me? The same theory applies when I really do not understand why those so close to me don't get a little signal while those far away know so much. Zhanyong still angry for me not allowing him to bring fries across? it that is so, all i can say is sorry. When i am seen letting people across, I am being reprimanded. When I do not let them go, they are pissed. If he did not say that he would bring the fries across to the other side and smuggle it across, or else just put it in his pocket and go one round and out, I would close one eye. Just like a piece of ham,stuck between two pieces of bread. sometimes when the bread falls lose, I am not able to catch hold of either side. When it is pressed hard together, I am squashed. I do not want to give up council after coming so far in this probation.I must hang my way through. Meanwhile push everything aside and throw my brains into study.(: Put a smile on my face to tell others I can do it, no matter whether I can or not.